Attempted Break-In

The above is my imaginary rendering of the person who TRIED TO FRICKIN' BREAK INTO MY HOTEL ROOM LAST NIGHT!!!

The room faces the outside; in other words, it doesn't face onto an interior corridor. And it's the room on the end, closest to the road and the parking lot (cars don't park right at the door here).

Last night around midnight I heard someone fumbling with the doorknob. I could hear scuffling footsteps, which sounded like more than one person--more than one large person, btw.

MY INCREDIBLY STUPID MISTAKE NUMBER ONE: I got up and could see the door wasn't deadbolted. Yeah, I know, stupid me, but I've been here for two weeks now and have gotten lackadaisical--which is surprising, because as a child I was severely punished multiple times for not locking doors and thus am usually a compulsive door-locker.

MY INCREDIBLY STUPID MISTAKE NUMBER TWO: I didn't immediately grab a weapon. (Hey, I'd been asleep and I wasn't thinking clearly.)

MY INCREDIBLY STUPID MISTAKE NUMBER THREE: Seeing that the door wasn't deadbolted, I was afraid to approach it and try to look out fear the ogre intruder would come smashing through. And so I stood in the middle of the room and said, "May I help you with something?" . . . in a female voice, obviously. Great, so now the guy knows I'm female. Jeez, I thought I was smarter than that!

MY INCREDIBLY STUPID MISTAKE NUMBER FOUR: I just thought, well it's a guest at the door of the wrong room, so I didn't call the police. I just went back to bed.

Now, in the light of day, I'm not so sure it was a guest at the wrong door, however. I can understand making a mistake about a center room, but not an end room.

And now the would-be intruder, a.k.a. the ogre, knows the room is occupied by a single female alone (if there were a man staying here, he'd have been the one to speak to them).

All kidding aside, this morning I'm a bit shaken up by the experience.

So now I feel like I have to call or write to all my friends and say something nice in case the ogre comes back and murders me in my sleep tonight.

That way they'll all have pleasant memories of me after I'm gone.